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What Will You Give Up For Your Happiness?

Updated: Feb 2, 2022

So often we want something new in our life. A new relationship. A new career path. A new sense of travel, adventure, health etc. But before we can allow anything new IN, sometimes we need to first let things OUT in order to make space.

This was my biggest lesson of 2021.

I started the year with a burning for more life outside of the domesticated and work driven life that I easily slipped into.

I wanted more memories with my babies, more bare foot connection to mother nature and more adventure with my husband!

Part of this excited high vibe energy actually (and possibly accidentally) fueled an idea to build a completely new boutique. I wanted to bring women together in a beautiful space where they could feel empowered, seen, held, supported and encouraged to love their self deeper. This is when Le D Full Circle became real. I opened my Maternity and Lingerie boutique just 2 doors up from my baby/children's boutique in April 2021. I spent the beginning of the year building a brand, painting, decorating, finding inventory and getting people excited. We even turned our large 1500 sqft back pace into the event space of my dreams.

That's right. A 3rd business inside my 2nd business. This is where I have been holding women circles, doula mommy and me groups, yoga classes, baby showers, birthday parties, photo sessions and so much more. We even had a NBA player rent our space to record a national TV interview.

So answer me this. How is one suppose to go on adventures, explore, create memories with her husband and 3 babies IF she's glued to 3 businesses that she built with her own hands?


Ok.. you can BUT at a cost?

I was stretched so thin with 3 store fronts and all the things that come with it like employees (hiring has been a nightmare in itself all year) and also payroll, schedules, inventory, web sites, shipping, customers, media and a never ending to do list that I was stretching myself to make it all work. The reality is nothing and no one can be stretched that thin without breaking eventually. My breaking point happened when inflammation from the stress took over my body. I broke out in hives that spread from my hips all the way up to my collar bone. I also started having horribly insomnia every other night. No matter how much you think you can handle stress, your body will know better and it's simply our job to listen and honor that. I was constantly trying to juggle my current businesses, my 3 kids, my husband, myself along with my spiritual walk and my desire to do other things like go on adventures and coach more clients. You can't pour into others if you're already empty and my 3 businesses were wonderful and i loved them but they emptied me.

So is owning and running 3 separate, physical business that all need your undivided attention more important than the feeling of an impromptu get away to the coast with my family and a calm mind and balanced spirit? To me the answer is no.

I love my womans boutique. I poured a lot into it and even more so, it is profitable! We busted ass for over a year to get Lé D Bug Boutique to be profitable and here we are with our pop-up maternity store and it took us 3 months! Again, I had to ask myself "what is more important"? Making money and building this business up more (there was a lot of ego here obviously) OR let it go to open up space for what my soul is really craving?

I wanted to see my girlfriends and spend time growing a community of like minded women!!!

I wanted to read more books! Actually read then, front to back with a calm mind that can focus and slow down long enough to step into another world for a little while.

I wanted to breathe deeply outside in forrest's that I've never yet been in! I wanted to experience new things that were soul filling and not attached to anything material.

I started 2021 with a staycation where Aaron and I took a night down town Portland to read, eat, drink and set intentions for our year. A lot of that first intention was to be present and to honor what my mind, body and soul was craving. I knew off the bat that would look like more time exploring with Aaron and to finally take a road trip with my oldest girlfriend Leah. She and I drove down Mount Shasta to hike it and just adventure from there up the Oregon coast back home over 5 days.

I had already felt lit up from the inside out with these little plans in motion. I also knew I would pour into my babies and taking time to indulge with as many of their little desires as possible as well.

Aaron and I took a long weekend to climb Mount Hood and explore our beautiful state =)

Absidy and I took up kick boxing and spent most of the year snuggling in her room which I helped her completely remodel because being 12 is rough and she needs all the love and support that i can give. Me being able to show up for her is HUGE right now.

Aaron and I spent a lot of our year slowing down and enjoying each other no matter if it meant on the mountain, at the coast, in LA or on our couch.

We went star gazing with a full 4 course dinner. We traveled to the North West's Stonehenge because it's the closest we can get to Englands right now. We brunched at Timberline, hiked more waterfalls then I can remember, traveled to LA 2 times (both of which we included a Disney trip. 1 just the two of us and 1 with the kids). We smelled the lavender fields. We dipped our toes in random rivers, took long drives and just tried to be present.

It was AMAZING but now I get to image doing it without the constant need to be on my phone to work. This year I get to cut back on the schedules, buying, plans, negotiations etc. I had so many fires to constantly put out with inventory, shipping, customers etc. I don't want to be tied to something other then my family and my desire to live life! I don't want to feel like i'm only half living. No one should.

Putting the phones and computers away to fill up the picnic basket is what I will always want more of. To take a drive out in the country, up a mountain with my babies to just be together is more gratifying than any business plan or material success. It calmed my hives, gave my body rest all while filling my soul with what it really needed.

Art, nature and reading are huge things for me. They refuel me. I had traded so much of my time and mental space to be work and drive focussed. I felt like my worth was tied to how valuable or successful I could make myself. Thinking this way is a good indicator that you're doing things that will 100% empty you. If we allow ourselves to fill our time with things that FILL us, imagine how you'd over flow with creativity, purpose, love, peace, excitement etc.

I went to Van Gough with my mom & dad, Disney with my MIL, too many wineries to mention and often with a good book, I enjoyed a quiet cabin in the woods to play in the snow and spent my time doing things that really matter to me. I always came home beaming with joy for life. I had so much space to hold for my babies and all their needs and wants. I had more space to pour into my other businesses. I had more space to dream up new goals and creative ideas of how to form the life Aaron and I desire.

Through all my year, I experienced the things I craved while juggling the work I thought I had to continue. When the mall that my store is in came to me to let me know that LuLu Lemon was going to need my Maternity/event space for a few months during a remodel, I took a deep breath and decided this was my out. They offered me an insane deal to move back in when the remodel was done and take my business back up with half the rent but I had to listen to my inner knowing. The store was wonderful because it just reminded me that im capable of accomplishing what ever I set my mind to BUT I don't have to sacrifice what's most important. My freedom, my family, my connection to nature and exploring the beauty of where were we live is up at the top of what's most important to me. The weight of knowing that im closing my doors and actually merging my 2 shops into just 1 feels amazing. Managing 1 rent, payroll, inventory, customer base etc is going to open up so much mental, energetic and creative space for me to continue allowing into my life the things that fill me and overflow onto those that I love.

When you feel stuck, overwhelmed or disconnected from your life, take inventory.

  1. Where are you spending most of your energy?

  2. How does it make you feel?

  3. How do you want to feel? What do you want to experience?

  4. What would you need to let go of to allow space for those experiences?

  5. Imagine IF you had space for the experiences that you crave, how would you feel?

If you looked through your photo album over the last year, would it reflect the most authentic you?

I know mine does and i'm even more excited to be going into 2022 with more time and space to accomplish the things that fill me!

I hope you are too =)

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