I used to think that fear meant "Forget Everything And Run". That makes sense when you're little I think. If you hear a scary noise, you run. Monster in the closer... Run! Cute boy that's coming over and you forget to brush your teeth... definitely run! But we're not children any more so we can learn to see fear differently now. We can see that fear could in fact be a needed and useful tool for us to live.
Yesterday is a great example of fear and how it can play with us if we allow it. I was set up to give a Live interview with the Jay Shetty Certification School as an alumni on Wednesday this week (today in fact). I have been actually nervous for a week leading up to it. I've wanted to re-submerge myself in my coaching studies, podcasts, tools etc so that i'd feel really prepared for any curve ball questions that might come my way. On Tuesday, I woke up early to make sure I had time to be in my coaching so that i'd feel as ready for the interview but the universe had a lesson for me. The local news station that my husband loves contacted me to ask if I was available to do an interview for a news segment for my new boutique. I of course was excited and agreed with the thought that we would chat on the phone and schedule this for some time next week. While I was already stressed and full of fear around my impending school interview, I got the phone call that my new segment interview would be in 2 hours at my boutique. Im first and foremost a woman and a mother meaning I was in my jammies and sipping my coffee while 2 of my kids were in the shower and 1 was still in her bed! I had 2 hours to get my house in order, shower and get ready to be on the news and actually get to my store! I honestly couldn't help but laugh through the fear.
Here is what I did.
Hop in the shower and focussed on my breath while I acknowledge my senses. ie. the water temp, the smell of my shampoo, the feel of the tile under my feet. This helps to calm the nervous system and pull you back into the present moment. There is nothing scary about being in the shower. The fear pops up when i'm in the future of getting ready, being on time, not making a fool of myself etc.
I kept my breath work going while I got out and got ready. I'd intentionally breathe for 4 and out for 4. Why 4 counts? Well because that's all I could comfortably maintain at the moment =) It would normally be a long draw in for an 8 count and slow draw out for an 8 count but at that point I figured any breathing would be good breathing.
I turned on my Empowered playlist on my amazon. This got my energy up in a good and directed way. It helped me to focus on positive high energy and move my body to release some of the stress and fear energy.
I showed up! I got to work with no real idea of what was going to happen in 20 minutes. I didn't know if a camera man would be there, what they wanted me to do or say, if I even looked ok. When the anchor came in with her camera man and they gave me a mic to put on under my dress I just took a few deep breathes with the intention of gratitude for this opportunity and I fell into an excited, authentic, peace.
Do you see the irony here? What's scarier, a live interview on instagram from your own home, talking about something your passionate about and skilled in OR a news segment where you're interviewed about your store that you created? I'd argue that having a camera man in front of you while you're asked a million questions is scarier, yet I jump right in. It helped me realize that my fear for my live instagram interview was almost funny but I understood it. Im passionate about my coaching career. Im passionate about reaching people and helping them to expand their perspective of worth, life, ability to create etc. Im passionate about my own continued shadow work, growth and healing. Im passionate about it so it was scary. My fear was based on my own gauge of the importance of this in my life. That's not to say i'm not passionate about my boutiques, but they are a fun thing for me to create and run where my coaching career is my life's work. How scary is that!
This is the look of joy from speaking about alignment, purpose, passion and my desire to walk others through their own shadows so they see they are the light the whole time! The interview went perfect, of course, but i'm almost most grateful for the lesson I have to take away from my week long fear fest. I learned (again) that the fear we feel is almost never actualized, that it can be a spot light to show us lessons, healings and the scale of what's important to us.
So what if we rethink fear and make it into a useful tool instead of an alarm to run from?
Let's stop Forgetting Everything And Running.
Lets try to Face Everything And Rise!